Journey to Self

Namaste' fellow Earth Aliens! , Unseen hands I *know* are guiding me. For I *believe*, and have *faith* that is not earth bound.

Do you choose to place your attention on that which you wish to see in your life?

Do these things you choose to pay attention to and create within, then have an affect on your outer world?

Do you find the more awareness and attention you give to joy, passion, laughing, and simply enjoying, (yes this means even doing the dang dishes with soul ;0) as the feelings will come eventually as a by product of the action, ) the more these things grow?

Do you find the *more attention * you give to fear, anger, upset, and judgment, these things as well become a powerful gripping force, and more readily and easily come by?

Throughout my life I have remained open to *all* experiences, for those experiences good, and well not so good, also bring their own lessons and gifts to honor.

But I have also found myself at times, visiting darker places within, sometimes without recognizing outright I have launched myself into a world that can grace me with excruciating pain, pain however that without having allowed such an intimacy, I would never have also TRULY appreciated the many daily blessings.

I believe all sentient life has it's own life force and energy, and sharing my life with some amazing souls I want to be sure my every intent is honorable and pure, to make decisions not based on ego. That decisions are chosen purely. Is my heart heavy? or at peace with the decisions and the result rising from the action taken?

Has my intent been of an honorable nature or have I looked at what ***I*** will stand to gain from the choice?

Gaining in a negative manner comes in various forms, Be it seeking a lot of attention, (feeding insecurity/low self esteem.) Be it fame, (feeding a longing to be recognized, and acknowledged in life in such a way as to feel highly important and valuable.) Be it monetary (taking advantage of situations/circumstances to exploit, may not start out this way but the moment may be seized for financial gain) Be it basically...the ego fed in order to lift your*self* up, within your*self*, in such a way the self will thus look down on others it may deem not as *worthy*.

If such things naturally occur in my life are they come by simply, and because pure intent was followed? That steps are taken where gain is really inheriting and was a result of...and not because my ego was involved to such a degree, that the wants not the journey were a main focus in life.

Humans are ego centric (this is seen in very young children whom we have to TEACH to *share* their toys, and to TEACH it is not nice to hit Tommy with the baseball bat because he wont give them the ball) and it takes work and understanding ones own complicated workings, to forge a relationship with the self that is honest.

So does all this mean having ambition and setting goals is wrong?

Absolutely not! Setting goals helps to create focus and dedication, which can lead to exciting achievements and discoveries. I simply caution that during such a quest, due care and awarenesss is taken , so as to not lose the importance of that journey.

That success is attained through integrity.

For a few years a young Métis girl has come out to the Ranch, a brilliant artist (both musically and artistic wise)


(Pics taken by sky, of a couple pictures Mandy drew)

whom momentarily has put that on hold for being obsessed with boys, and texting boys, and getting all dressed up for you guessed it ...boys.

Being an artist myself

(Pics taken of a few of my tile backsplashes I design, paint, and fire up)

(This is a tiled backsplash I made for a friend of mine I call Raven, In the wolf print I have written out the Raven Prophecy ;0)

I have one thing to say to all girls out there, don't put any talents on momentary hold for ANYONE ! ;0) If one is blessed with a gift such as art, this helps add to your souls creativity, this creativity becomes a song unique to *YOU*, when you stifle your creativity you are *killing* a part of that *song* and essence.

I have seen the result of young girls/women whom have neglected their souls. Where their spirit is neglected, and becomes a dying garden. Their creativity and purpose has become lost, and the longer one goes without paying attention to this dying garden, the darker and less colorful ones world becomes. (Think brittle stems, wilted foliage, roots that cease to grow, as the food vital to survival is cut off)

Beauty is beyond the physical. Women stay away from the beauty mags, and allow your *self* to develop and evolve into TRUE beauty, not trying to be someone *else*. That energy is PRICELESS and has no barriers. It is a natural beauty undefined, that will course through your very life source.

(pic taken by sky at sunset)

I met this little girl a few years ago. At that time we'll replace the obsession she has with boys *now* at 15 , with wolves ;0) If there is one thing I am deeply passionate about besides nature, it is kids! they are sponges absorbing all they can.

(Pic taken by Lou of Sky and Mandy (Mandy at 13)

I don't want them to reach an apathetic state I have witnessed in many young people once they reach a certain age. I want them to find their own wings and not just *KNOW* their potential and capabilities, but *FEEL* that strength, to look to *all they can do*, not what they *can't*.

Not what they don't have, but what they *have*.

To not feel powerless, but power*FULL*


Mandy had never been canoeing before so Lou and I took her out to my favorite place to be on this sacred earth. Giving her the tools and know how, she took to this quite quickly. :0) as you can see.

(pics taken by sky from kayak)

There is nothing more beautiful than a smile or laugh as you know a connection has been made of some sort, be it between the persons own self , an experience, or another sentient being.
There need not even be words when this occurs, yet the communication is clear..."I feel good, and know what good feels like.".

I worry about the child who never, or even rarely smiles or laughs, you know something is seriously disconnected and broken then.

I'll never forget one memorable moment in time of just how early a disconnect with our environment can occur. I was at a mall one day, and saw a girl sitting down in the middle of a floor in one of the stores. The floor was dirty at first glance, but the girl was seemingly unconcerned, and busy looking beyond the dirt, wiping it off the pattern and colors.

I thought I was the only one that noticed floors *ha ha*;0) I watched as the mother proceeded to yank the girl to her feet, and to chastise her for it not being proper to be acting like *that,* she was getting her clothes dirty, etc. I thought how as children we get to be where we are through guidance from our elders, we are shaped via what we are told about ourselves, what we are told are our limits, what we can do, what we cannot do. Our self will either be nurtured, or stomped on, and into the dirt like on the floor the little girl was sitting on.

Weeeeeeeell me being me, (and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing) the little girl looked at me becoming conscious now of being embarrassed by her mother, in a way she wasn't embarrassed about sitting on the floor prior, until her mom made her *aware* of it.


As the mother continued with her buisness in the store, I smiled at this girl and I said to her loud enough so that her mother could hear, something to the effect of " It's a beautiful floor isn't it? All the wonderful colors and patterns, and you should feel proud you saw what was underneath all the dirt, that you looked beyond the surface to find a treasure." She smiled at that, the mother of course scowled at me and pulled her kid out of the shop. Well at least the note ended on a smile from the kid.


Continuing with my story about Mandy, after canoeing for the day, it is nearing dark, time to call it a day/night, pack up and head back to the ranch. But...not before a few residents decide they like my kayak , can you spot all four of the dragons ;0)

When Mandy comes out she stays the week-end and likes to get her time in with the crew members here. They ALL love Mandy, and consider her family. Tibet is in 7th heaven when she sees Mandy, it is like they have always known each other, which is wild cause typically the wolves nowhere act as giddy with other people as they do with myself, as I raised them. Yet with Mandy, Tibet treats her the same as she treats me. Pretty amazing site to behold.

(These pics are almost three years old of Mandy with Tibet, though I have recent ones of her currently at 15, to this day these are my favorite ones, as it shows an innocence and purity that is not polluted and tainted by human made rules. It is stepping on the face of uncomfortable taboo. Need I say a whole lot with the following? )

( Uhm just a little to the right)

red riding hood go to school?

Today as I went in to play with Tibet, she came running over to me with her typical and usual greeting, (that is when she's having a good day and not ill, luckily the good still outweigh the bad.) She was belly crawling, peeing, crying (speaking), showing me affection, tongue darting, ears back, eyes averted submissively I cannot help but wonder about the stories I grew up with such as *Peter And The Wolf* *Little Red Riding Hood* and other similar stories. I laugh and picture Tibet as the big bad wolf in such a novel, but of course cannot. I teach children that wolves are neither what they hear in the bed time stories and around the campfires, nor are they the typical family dog and pet companion. Wolves are their own type of animal as unique and individual as so many of us humans are, they have different personalities, and temperaments, they show their displeasure and happiness, they show their sadness and let you know when they are ill and down. Wolves are a predatorial animal but they are not the blood thirsty night stalkers just waiting to grab a child or adult out of their beds.
They are highly misunderstood, made into something they are not, nor ever were. They are neither devils nor saints, they just are. I do not view Tibet as something I *own* the way I own my truck, or my clothes, I see her as a free thinking and even doing for the most part individual spirit that has to be respected at all times, whose needs and wants need to be heard and understood in order for there to be a bond and friendship. Due to licensing restrictions she is not allowed to run freely on the land, even though this would be the best scenario, (and oh I would ;0) if COMPLETELY isolated on an island somewhere hahaha) for she would not run way from home like a husky might, due to her bond with me, and the other wolves, but in her journeys she could get shot out here. To keep everyone happy and safe, including keeping the respect by respecting other neighbours in the county side, when not in her habitat she is on lead on the dense forest trails with me exploring life. She is not my dog, my dog is content to always just do for me just because she wants to please me, listen to me, do as I say, crawl into my lap and watch late night movies contentedly with me without fretting. She (my dog) does not seem as complex to try and understand.

Tibet will crawl into my lap alright, but she most certainly would not stay there for the duration of a movie, while relaxing on the couch, in fact the couch would be fair game to rip apart! She would have much better things to do like searching for dish rags to eat, garbage to get into, kitchen tables to leap onto and use as a spring board to surf onto the kitchen counters, and then onto the fridge in search of the next new thing to find , and take apart to see it's inner workings. I sometimes think how most people I know must think surely I must be crazy for enduring some of the crazy antics I have over the years. Crazy? who knows, maybe... I must admit I am *in love* though. It is a love story that has taken me from peaks of highs to the very depth of lows. My heart has cried, and it has sang on this amazing journey, for I know not many have the privelage of living with wolves. For anyone who says it's no big deal, anyone could do it. Yes anyone could take a wild animal and do this, does not mean they *understand* how to do it *right*

I know one day I will no longer hear that song that envelopes my entire being when I hear it, when I will be old and grey in a rocking chair and looking back going ahhhh What a ride that was!! while reminiscing over old photographs, and watching old videos of myself with creatures so feared, hated and loved. I will always treasure these times, these journeys still unfolding daily, close to my heart for that will never disappear. I am sure in my last breath on this beautiful miracle planet, there will be scenes played out of these experiences and faces of these beautiful animals to see me into my next journey. I can only pray the wild wolfs song will continue to be sung underneath the heavens and silver moon, that their spirits will continue to dance with the northern lights that watch over them, tenderly a dance that is older than time.