Independance

Namaste' dear souls!

Every winter I juggle around what wolf will go where, I have a few separation pens to separate the wolves during breeding season, it's but for a couple months and they can be placed then back with their mate for the rest of the year, as wolves unlike dogs, mate only once a year in the winter. But I see no sense in breeding wolves every year only for pups to be placed in zoos continuously, with no goal other than to see wolves in captivity. Plus how many zoos can possibly be out there. Unless there is something specific like for example with my arctics and they needed pups for an endangered species program etc. It is best to just separate.

But let me tell you, even though necessary to do in captivity, (I talk about those reasons in another blog) once you see pups pulled from mom, it rips your heart right out, and I don't care what any zoo keeper or other caretaker of pures says, that they *get* over it...I don't think they do. Do such people speak wolf? I hardly think so. The difference between *dog* moms, and *wolf* moms is this. In the wild the *pack/ family units bonds and ties are STRONG* they are primal in their instincts, their ways have not been altered the ways dogs have been, dogs have been *bred* specifically for pups to then be dispersed as soon as they are weaned, and the dog mothers are only too happy to see them go!

This has over time created dogs, whom can take or leave a pack unit. Dogs that are content to be an only, in a household of humans and at such humans beck and call, they have lost their *independance* and rely heavily on US humans for everything.

Wolf mothers are FIERCE in their protective instincts, and this post reminds me of Stacey and her husband Mike (hawks ) blog for mothers day about mothers. Though yes I have seen this initial instinct in many dog mothers when pups are FIRST born , and for the first few weeks, but have also noticed they start to lose it once pups are weaned. Not so for wolf mothers, that bond has only strengthened in nature between pups and mom, and other family members. You see puppies are very highly valued within a wolf pack structure, it means a packs very survival and fine tuned operation.

I have watched a wolf mother literally dig for a number of MONTHS, all over the grounds a zillion dens and holes looking for her pups that were pulled from the den, and dispersed. This was one mother whom was NOT just forgetting in a few days about her puppies. So when I hear such generalization about such intelligent animals, I simply shake my head and think they have not YET then experienced what I have, or maybe they have and just don't *see* it that way. You have to TRICK many wolf mothers out of the way, in order to get their puppies in captive situations, cause she will NOT willingly give them up to you like a dog will. And if you are lucky to be *trusted* enough to interact with those puppies, whilst they are still so young, that wolf mother *entrusts* YOU enough as a human, to not take them from her too.

I can completely understand pulling and bottle-feeding wild animals for a time if in a captive situation, and then the family unit placed back together once the pups are completely socialized to humans, (Wolf Park comes to mind for this) and thus more safely handled for life then, by human caretakers. BUT the majority of places that breed pure wolves, pups are dispersed and the pack unit is not reunited a few months down the road. (I mean no disrespect, nor am I saying that places that do this are outright *wrong*, some of my pups came to me that way.) But I am complex in my feelings on this topic too, so I mean no insult to other professional colleagues. The longer I have been involved, the more my feelings/ thoughts have evolved about this. They can't not. When you view ALL life as sacred and free thinking, and you have wild animals in captivity, well for ME at least this has been a part of the struggle along the way in my journey.

Maybe some would call this anthromorphizing but if you ever get to see such a look as I witnessed with this one wolf, you would KNOW, and you would FEEL what I say, if you truly have a connection to the sacred circle of life and living. Over the years as I have gotten closer to these animals and their world, I have also gained a different respect than when I first started out, the lessons they have taught me have been invaluable, and it is best to never think you know it all, cause just when you even start to think you may know enough, they may knock you on your collective assets *grin*, to say "You NEVER graduate, so keep studying."

How can you not admire another creature for being what it is, and thinking for itself? Not allowing, no matter what, to be manipulated into something it is not.

But wolves can also get into familiar *habits* of comfortability like humans can. Almost ritualistic in behavior. Is there something you HAVE to do daily, no matter how small like maybe you check the doors twice every night that they are locked, or maybe it is a glass of apple juice right before bed , you get the picture. Do you feel that something may not be quite right if you are taken out of that *comfortable* zone you have forged, and that ritual you have created not played out? It could be as simple as a certain kind of blanket you HAVE to sleep with, heck even on camping trips THAT blanket has to be with you?

Well one wolf this winter had a serious issue with being placed into one particular separation pen, it would have been alright had I placed her in a couple of the others, but just not this ONE. She had never been placed into THAT one before in her life, so instantly she felt *uncomfortable* I thought to myself, she's such a calm animal, she'll do alright for a couple months. WELL, she had other ideas. ;0)

Another thing in *general* about wolves is this, they THINK before DOING they dont take temper tantrums like dogs do when they want something, they simply think and DO. My dogs would sit there taking tantrums like little kids destroying as much they can FIRST, to get what they want. Before then accidentally stumbling their way upon the solution. (Different thinking processes at work here)

I had gone inside to get changed to go in for shopping, and laid out on the bed for a couple seconds, I remember feeling for some reason that she was NOT going to settle into where she was, well then I heard this THUMP (the cabin has a metal roof so even when it rains, it's loud) I shot straight up and yelled "Holy He* she's on the roof!" this is where all that palmolive soap down my throat over the years as a kid, proved it's mad methods not to work, as I had a few cursive words to express ;0)

Ten foot tall, 9 gage, zoo strength chainlink, she climbed and got onto the freakin roof! It's a separation pen, and though fairly close to the cabin, within a number of feet. I have never had a single issue with it with any other wolves till she came along, *grin* and decided to teach me something.

I ran out praying to all the powers that be, that I was wrong. But nope miss smarty pants was up there and grinning at me. I was picturing firetrucks, and oh gawd, how the heck was I going to get her off the roof. I was able to coax her down by throwing weiners into her enclosure. Well I think I can say I have nearly seen it all now. And no, there were no worries or chance of her running away from home. ;0) not on this land, and she loves her home.

In fact I often tell people I could let them all run around my land freely at will, and without worry of them leaving, IF I lived in a world where the rancher down the ol country road wouldn't shoot them, at first notice. So I keep them safe, as they are in my world even though I also allow them to be in their own as much as is possible.

Of course, I took her immediately to another enclosure and she was as content as punch then. I should have *Listened* to her, but I didn't, sooooo being the ever independant thinker, she let me know what she wanted. Paradox thank you, you keep me in check to make sure I am listening. Which also makes me think of Robins post about communication and how it is vital for ANY relationship to have the Respect, Understanding, Tolerance, and most importantly being a GOOD listener. I guess you can say My dear Paradox of Providence was fearless ;0) in her communication.

Photo of my friend dustin with my grey beauty paradox, who comes out to visit the wolves every couple months

The Art Of Living

Namaste' fellow earth aliens! I thought I would share with you something I just started yesterday. Today I am going to apply subtle color then the glaze today, I want to keep it subtle as I like the contrast with the other tiled art I have already fired up, and they have lots of color. This will be a part of a 7 foot by 7 foot mural I am doing for my bathroom wall. It has my girl Tibet, Legend and Eco on this panel.

Art has always been a link to me a lifeline so to speak, it is as a part of me as my wild natural being is, and has always been there when I need to call on it most in my life. It has been a best friend through thick and thin.

A lot of people that meet me, seem to think I am really outgoing, but I blush so much too and that is definitely my shy side coming out, and I have to force myself to not crawl off into that dark corner at times still. (Oh let me be a spider!) Over the years working in the public eye has helped. At first it was HARD, I was that kid that if you looked at me even at 18, I would cast my eyes down, not wanting to ever offend or impose. I did not want to be the center of ANY attention.

Like a wolf I was content to watch from a distance, curious, but very shy. But very very happy on my own, away from crowds. To this day I avoid malls in the city, not only to not subject my sanity to huge crowds, but I do prefer to go to little tiny shops to support more small business owners, than big box stores. So have a better excuse than simply not wanting to be around huge crowds. ;0)

But when I started working in fields that FORCED me to be more outgoing, against my natural inclination to shy away, the feelings started to come with the actions.

The action of simply doing REGARDLESS of the feeling.

I knew this would be a HUGE mountain to climb, and a real challenge.

Oh boy it was painful, let me tell you for all those people who truly are SHY and not just a little shy but SHY, they'll relate. I'd rather be off on my bike somewhere in the middle of nowhere looking for frogs in a creek (Yup fav. past time ;0) of mine, )

But you know, I also realized something that our inherent *selves* don't ever leave us, even if our actions change. The actions may just get *easier* to perform. And I don't mean acting, as it certainly is not that, but you are creating a new self, another part, as part of the whole. Not necessarily dumping the *old* self either, as I don't want to disrespect or dishonor ANY side to who I am.

I often tell people I really did not like doing the dishes, I think I did far too many from the time I was 5, I became the official dish dryer for a family of 5 and my older sister was the washer, I remember having to stand on a chair cause I could not reach the sink LOL.

My little spoiled brother got to sit it out ;0) by the time I was 10 I graduated to become the official daily dish washer, but as much as I disliked dish washing, I disliked the drying by hand towel even more. So that was moving up in the world for me hahaha. No dishwashing machines except litle human kids in my household. Now by that time, my little brother who should have filled in my old job of dish dryer, (I was sooooooooo evily relishing that) my parents told him he did not have to hand dry each and every dish and utensil like I did . I was to rinse each one with very burn your hands water, hand them to him, and him set them out on a towel to air dry! Oh I so wanted to plan ways to get back at him for that. ;0)

Where am I going with this? you'll see. As I used to sit there year after year first dish drying, then dish washing, I would *create*, I would sing, I would draw images, and sculpt within my mind, I would continue to LIVE and do whilst I was performing an action I TRULY disliked, with a passion.

Over time, as I did those dang dishes with soul, with heart and art within, the *feelings* started to follow, bit by bit, the actions. Just as my little shy girl story above.

So now when I don't feel like doing something that has to be done, I simply do it with *soul* within, so yeah, okay busted! you got me in another indiscretion, *sigh* as if telling you all I run around with not much on around my land singing to wolves wasn't enough, but I dance with the dang vacuum cleaner, picture that! or uhm NOT! *grin*

Art comes in various forms, when I say artist it can be someone whom collects bottlecaps and covers their house with them, to a graceful ice skater, to the person who travels to the farthest corners of the world to discover ancient cities, and to listen to their whispers and secrets untold. It can be a gentle mother, whom sings to her children at night as she tucks them in, or tells them bed time stories you can't find in any book on the shelf!

Art is universal it seeps from every pour, to glisten and shine.

Art is a life vein of discovery, or dusting off what already lay beneath the dirt.

I have freely throughout my life given away art pieces be it beaded art pieces I have made, or be it a painting. When questioned why I have *given* away so much, and not sold it, when I very well could. I simply respond...Because I can.

Because I can bring that out anytime I want to, I can create anything I see, why wouldn't I want to give that away? Why would I be born with a gift, if I was not also meant to truly take that world, share and apply it sometimes? When I meet people for the very first time I get really excited cause I want to share my life, my music, my dance, I have learned over time that as much as I feared people, I also loved them very deeply. I fall in love truly, on a daily basis.

Art has allowed me to step on the box and borders, life has tried to place around me. I pull from it, and it from me, for it it helps to create who I am, for I am not the only artist.

When I create it is a dance between me, that which is my inspiration, and that which is created as the result.

All that said you want to know a secret? I TRULY disliked doing the dishes period, cause I had to wash them with palmolive dish soap, and let me tell you in my household growing up you so much as said damn, you'd have that soap going down your throat, or a bar soap of zestfully clean, (ahuh, what a lovely name NOT) would be pushed in and out of my mouth grating along my teeth. I'd rather take the belt my dad would give us , than that dang soap. To this day I avoid looking at zest and palmolive, and you will NOT find those in my house! I had to use my torture devices daily hahaha.

Oh palmolive would you like ME to do a commercial for you? *grin* I'd do a really bang up job for you :0)

The moral? Get out, and just CREATE if it means mud patties, then mud patties it be! and hey don't knock mud patties, they're good for so many things like a mud fight, who's game? ;0) cause them after the mud fight you can take out the water guns. Okay, Okay, I admit I have a couple water guns, too. :0)

Pssst the title of this post reminds me of a really GREAT song by the boomers, (The Art Of Living) if you dont know who they are, oh they are truly wonderful I discovered them at 17 whilst traveling in the back of a little toyota pickup extended cab on my way to a canoe trip, and friends in their thirties at the time had that tape just cranked. But here is another great song from them since I could not find the art of living on youtube, this one is called You Gotta Know, check em out!but turn off my music to hear them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UYOib_M_wk

A Place

Namaste' all ; though I dont seem to have many readers, the ones I have wow, amazing people and that is such an honor to have you share peeks into your world, and actually be interested in the one I trek. So THANK YOU THANK YOU most ever humbly. I told myself if I made just one new friend on here, and there was a sharing and communication of sorts, it would make me ecstatic :0) I truly love to walk in another's shoes, and go on a journey with them. Other's journeys lead to inspiration for me as a student, and what we are inspired by, (be it another being, situation, experience etc) we then take and create a fantastic reality. We also can in turn become a teacher. I know my teachers have come in all shapes, sizes, and colors! I can honestly say there are a few though I have not met, I would welcome into my home graciously with open arms.

Sky and Legend share a moment

It can be hard to look at our weaknesses, but depending on the circumstances such things can also be a strength, so we must tred carefully so as to not cut out what may at first glance, appear to be weeds from our garden. For the very next day that weed may become the rose we need, thorns and all. ;0)

I have written poetry, music, and have been singing since... oh gee, I remember running around shirtless in just underwear riding my bike up and down our street singing songs from grease hahahaha. So a while, and living out where I live, I can still run out in my underwear and sing shirtless if I want, okay I admit I do hahaha, but the planes have been getting lower every year I notice ;0) but hey old habits die really painfully. ha ha.

I thought before I upload and post on my blog my snow storm of the century video I took at just after 6 in the morning april 26th of this year, (just a few days ago) I would post a couple of my songs I wrote, and add a couple pics of the snow storm we got hit with in such a way, as it looked like the middle of winter all over again. The videos are a bit too long for you tube so I have to shorten them through a program which I hope to get to tonight, and post them this week-end sometime. It's just me hiking through my land taking footage of mother natures snowy siren song.

This first song has a folksy feel to it, with high and deeper notes... wrote it approx 10 years ago now, one thing about me is I never write a story I am not personally connected to, that means I have experienced what I write about , or know someone who has, or been inspired to write about it, due to someone elses story. But every thing I have ever written in my life has a story. The second song is about a little girl that was murdered Carlie Brewster. I saw this video on t.v of this beautiful little girl being led away by a stranger, and later found dishonored.

Songs hit me mostly when I am in the shower, or in bed late at night this one hit me right before I was to take a shower, and I wrote the entire song in that one shower, it just all came to me and went together. I wrote it all out the moment I jumped out. I do wish to say I wrote Carlie's lullabye in honor of Carlie, I did not know her, I FELT her energy and soul right through the video I saw of her, it HIT me HARD like a gust of strong wind, and I feel she helped me to write that song just like that. I do not have any children, and I pray the song is not taken out of context, maybe some day I'll adopt so many out there need a home, I work with youth though and they are a HUGE passion in my life. Maybe I will post my song "when the last leaf falls" at some point as well, as that is about a child I knew when I was a child myself, and she was killed. A place is very much a part of me, things I have seen, stuff I have experienced, other people close to me and watching their stories. As I said we all are students and teachers, that never stops, unless you choose it to.

A Place

I once saw a bird flying high in the sky;

And I knew the secrets it held;

It led me to a land, a far away place;

And there I was forced to stand;

Well I've seen many wonders to make me believe;

I've seen a miracle or two;

I now understand, as that bird flies away;

What I believe about myself will all come true;

A place, a place, a far away place

From the moment we're born till we die;

A place, a place , a far away place;

One you can run to and hide;

I once met a man, he was travelling afar;

And he spoke, deep from his heart;

He said "if you look, you will surely find;"

Oh I wonder where this man had gone;

A place, a place, a far away place;

I wonder just how he knew;

A place, a place, a far away place;

Oh I hope that I find it too.

I once knew a child, and he grew to be;

A man so big and strong;

When asked he replied, "I would never be, if my mother hadn't been there all along;"

A place, a place, a far away place;

I wonder is it only what we say;

A place, a place, a faraway place;

I want to believe there's a way;

So many dreams, a long time ago;

He wonders what happened to them all;

He lived his life, asleep in the light;

Blinded by the darkness in his soul;

A place, a place, a far away place;

It's true, you become how you live;

A place, a place, a far away place;

And it's only as good as you give;

All the things never said, and in the blink of an eye;

It becomes too little, too late;

And as death takes hold, of a father so old;

"I'm proud of you my child," he doesn't say;

A place, a place, a far away place;

Be sure to tell those, that you love;

A place, a place, a far away place;

For when it's time, it just might not be enough;

In a room sits a girl, waiting to die;

Yet clings to the hope that life brings;

Down on her knees, she prays there'll come a day;

When the chains within, set her free;

A place, a place, a far away place;

Caught between the real and fantasy;

A place, a place, a far away place;

To rise up from the ashes, to see;

Driving home from a place, he never should have been;

To a wife he's told too many lies;

A tear stained letter awaits in her place;

He knows, it's a final good-bye;

A place, a place, a far away place;

Where the stakes seem to outweight the cost;

A place, a place, a far away place;

In a game he was sure to have lost;

Is it right, is it wrong, which road to choose;

Conflicted inside and confused;

To compromise, all she is in this life;

And in the morning left lonely and feeling used;

A place, a place, a far away place;

Don't give in, don't make that mistake;

A place, a place, a far away place;

For all you'll be missing is heart ache;

In a bed lies a woman, so old and grey;

It is hard to see the beauty within;

She said "don't you judge, what you see my friend;

For the stories I can tell you never end;"

A place , a place, a far away place;

I found it such a long time ago;

A place, a place, a far away place;

For I was once young too you know;

And as I walk, I look around, and I hear the sounds;

Oh it's been such a very long time;

To feel as a child, what I once used to feel;

As I turn my face to the sky;

A place, a place, a far away place;

From the moment we're born till we die;

A place, a place, my far away place;

One I can run to and hide, for that place I know resides ...inside.

Copyright©Skyla

Tibet Night Song Has a Wild Message

Carlie's Lullabye

It starts with a seed of love;

And it grows, just like a flower does;

The first time I saw you, the first time I held you, the first time I saw you smile;

The first time you laughed;

The first time you cried;

The very first time, I'm forced to say good-bye;

I need more time;

Carlie, Carlie,

I'm singing to you a lullabye tonight;

Carlie, Carlie,

I'm telling you mama, that everythings alright;

I'm in the light;

Well god works in mysterious ways;

Just when it feels like he's left, the very next day he saves;

Well maybe in time , I'll learn to see, and learn to understand;

But as the tears fall down, it's not what I had planned;

I wasn't there to hold her hand;

Carlie, Carlie;

I'm singing to you a lullabye tonight;

Carlie, Carlie;

I'm telling you mama, that everythings alright;

I'm in the light;

So many times, I hold near;

And when I close my eyes I can still see her here;

But then I wake from a dream, and she's gone;

I want to go right back to sleep;

And the pain hits hard, I pray the lord my soul to take;

Do I even want to wake;

Carlie, Carlie;

I'm singing to you a lullabye tonight;

Carlie, Carlie;

I'm telling you mama, that eveythings alright;

I'm in the light;

Dear mama, I'll say a prayer for you;

And you know when it's time, I'll be back home for you;

But till we meet again, I'll be the blowing wind, and the stars shining up in the sky;

I'll be the rainbow you see, at the end of the rain;

Don't think of it as good-bye, I did not die"

Carlie, Carlie;

I'm singing to you a lullabye tonight;

Mama, dear mama,

I'm telling you that everythings alright, I'm watching over you tonight;

So mama please keep a candle burning bright."

Please be sure to always tell those you care about , just how much they mean. We are given this moment to do so. We attach a lot to the physical, a lot of emphasis in life is based on what we can physically see, touch, taste, hear. But we are all energy, you and I, through that we FEEL and connect, it is something that does not die, ever. When I was a child I used to pretend to literally be in others shoes, so when I would see or meet a blind person for but one example hahaha, I would rush home and, I swear my parents thought I was always losing it, but I would blind fold myself and for over a week, *huge for a little kid* time wise, be blind so I could somehow see, feel maybe a LITTLE of someone else's world and life.

I think my parents sometimes were ready to take me to a doctor, and would get mad at me for such sensitivity. In fact they tell me they did in fact take me to a doctor once because I was so quiet and shy, and did not speak till I was 3 they said.

I was so sensitive to the energy around me, that it became more important, growing *that spiritual* side than anything else I could physically experience even. The physical just went along with the spiritual to me. To KNOW myself intimately, perhaps I could see more of others, in the light they should be seen and respected as well.

I tell people, they don't lose themselves when unaware, they simply misplace themselves piece by piece. Do you walk aware, and greet the divine with humility and humbleness?